Exhaustion
1.A thousand strangers broke my heart
Since way back when,
A thousand times I stitched it back;
It bleeds again.
2.A thousand storms tore down my house,
Again it burnt,
Reached out for help and all looked down
And then I learned.
3.A thousand times I built a wall
And stayed inside,
But silly me, let someone in
And spoke my mind.
4.A thousand lives in thirty years,
Seen lots of stuff,
Yet everything I know so far
Is not enough.PTSD
1.Why do I cry towards the sky,
If I could, would I even try?
If I could reach out to my dreams
Would I drop all the heavy things?
2.And will I ever open up?
My lips are sealed, had too much stuff,
I want to see, the lights are shut,
Wish I could speak, my tongue is cut.
3.I hear it takes some time to heal,
Until your heart is made of steel,
Until your skin rejects each touch,
I think I may have healed too much.
4.Stop insisting, I can’t do it!
And it’s more comfortable to quit;
I’m still outnumbered by my fears,
Will spend my life counting down years.Envy
Don’t hurry up to control my mind,
I don’t work for you, I got money, I got time.
I don’t mind the price when I buy wine,
Don’t stare like that, I got money, I got time.
Books and baseball bats are intertwined,
Waiting for the moment, I got money, I got time.
I count money, bitches lose their minds,
I don’t work for you, I got money, I got time.
Edelweiss
1.Scars along my wrists
Bled in someone’s heart,
No cuts any more,
Now I bleed through art.
2.Tried to break an arm
Just to ease the pain,
But the bruises showed
Mostly on my brain.
3.Drooling shadows come,
Closing in on me,
But they can’t surpass
My immunity.
4.Flowers on my wrists
Blossomed in my heart,
White petals on cliffs
Glowing in the dark.
Lana
1.If I could break in without any sound,
Would you be jealous or would you be proud?
And if you found out that my sins abound,
Yet my sleep is dreamless, deep and profound?
2.If you knew I’m a compulsive liar,
Would you back off, would you be on fire?
If breaking the law is my desire
And your eyes act as an amplifier?
3.If I could kill and lead all astray,
Continue living in the light of day,
Would you be judgmental, what would you say?
Would you come closer or drive me away?
4.I don’t like people, I hide in the sky,
My heart is soaking wet, my eyes are dry,
Your face in the crowd makes me blush and sigh,
I expect nothing, let’s give it a try.Distractions
1.I want no health, money or love,
No place in any Heaven above,
No found family or group of friends,
That’s where any sense of self ends.
2.I want no exotic beaches and hourglass body,
Six packs would do if I’m feeling naughty,
No fancy job or costly city breaks
In far off countries shaken by earthquakes.
3.No yoga rooms or therapy,
Coaches preaching about clarity;
There’s one thing I want, one thing I chase,
Never to work in an open space.Antisocial
1.Don’t make children, they will hold onto your legs,
Throw you in competitions to see who begs,
Tie you by your weakened arms
And leave you greyed out, depleted of charms.
2.Don’t make children, they are exchange nowadays,
For them to see who endures love and who pays;
In wealth they’ll be free of pain,
If unobtainable always abstain.
3.Don’t make children, they’ll make you blackmailable,
For the darkest deeds always available;
Not until you learn to see
All humans on Earth deserve to be free.Here I go again
1.Here I go again,
Every now and then,
Let my heart be torn,
Do I never learn?
2.Here I go again,
Until God knows when,
Opened up a door
And fell through the floor.
3.Here I go my dear,
How am I still here?
Thought my heart was dead,
Look, another shred!
4.Here I go again,
Cared too much God damn,
Get out of my way,
I fall hard today.
Kalgan crush
“Hey girl, what’s up? You’re so out of reach,
Smiling to yourself on the Kalgan beach!”
“Oh girl, you scared me! Welcome to town!
When you approach me try making a sound!”
“Girl, never mind, I could blow a horn,
You never hear stuff when your heart is torn.”
“Say that again? Don’t know what you mean.
Told you my X is the last boy I’ve seen.”
“Seeing is one thing, you’re dreaming awake,
I’ve seen those eyes, also the heartbreak.
I’m not a savior, I’m just your friend
And hate to witness an other sad end.”
“Girl, you read me, I’m an open book,
And you are impatient to hear the hook.”
“C’mon, spill the beans, don’t make me repeat,
Name, address, number, I’ll know who to beat.”
“Oh, all these things, wish I knew myself.
He’s not from this world: alien or elf.
Only saw him once on the Kalgan beach,
Wanted to say hi, but then lost my speech;
Tried to stand up, follow him around,
I fell back on the sand, my legs went numb.”
“Lord this is bad, have mercy on her!
Such a good girl, but her mind is a blur.”
“Wait, I’m not done, don’t make fun just yet!
You’ll fall just by listening, c’mon, wanna bet?
His eyes, girl, his eyes, never saw such thing!
They hid a dream in a dream in a dream,
They outshined by far the bland Kalgan sun,
It’s my heart they burnt, my soul they won.
He swayed so lightly, when he walked he danced,
Like a jester with a heartbreaker stance.
His hair was dark blonde or light brown or black,
Already forgot, how odd, what the heck?
What hit me most was his slender body,
Looking so frail, acting so naughty!”
“Girl, I don’t know, he sounds off to me,
Why do you fall for the first creep you see?
What if he’s a thief, or a drug dealer?”
“Naah, chill out, he’s just a heart killer.”
“You seem so convinced, I trust your gut,
If you see him again, just ask him out!
And if he does anything to you
I swear to God it’s the last thing he’ll do.
Wait, news alert on my phone, what the hell?
It can’t be, it reads that Kalgan just fell!”Take a bow
They say be nice to everyone
’Cuz each can help when you are down.
I say never lick where you spat,
Always forgive, never forget.
They say leave the room with a smile,
Maybe you come back in a while.
I say burn bridges, flames untamable,
Some garbage may even be flammable.
Can you restore a human’s dignity?
Leaving may be a sign of victory.
They say you must adapt or die,
I take a bow, ok, goodbye.Maybe means never
No more fooling around
To make me feel clever,
And painting on walls
Such silly endeavor,
I’ve grown up so much
I’m having a fever,
Shedded so much skin
I’ve started to shiver.
No more breaking the law
And saying whatever,
Drowning in regret,
My fault whatsoever,
My memories gone
I’m pulling the lever,
In case you are dense
Maybe means never.We’re sorry
1.We’re sorry, you can’t stay here,
You’re over 35,
Good luck, may life be easy
And thank you for your time.
2.We’re sorry, you can’t stay here,
Your voice is too humane,
We can’t afford to pay one
Who has a human brain.
3.We’re sorry, you can’t stay here,
You lie and cheat too much,
Where is your sense of honesty?
You lack the human touch.
4.We’re sorry, what you’re saying?
We never said these things!
You can’t go on and speak up
While knowing what it brings.D.E.A.D.
Hair spread on my pillow,
I am a dead willow;
Ice smeared on my window,
I’m a broken widow;
Poison in my veins,
Leaking better days;
All behind sealed lips,
Drought between my hips;
Mind can only wail,
Won’t escape this jail;
Don’t come for my fate,
You’re always too late.
Ladder
1.They play with words
Like illegal cigarettes,
Don’t be amazed
At how far it all gets.
2.They play with lies
Like fire plays with heat,
From hollow eyes
And voices of deceit.
3.They play with lives
Like children play with cubes,
The toys turn out
The most corrosive fumes.
4.They play with love
While building a ladder,
Dare take a step,
The tumble-down shatters.
Do that again
1.I want to paint you
From toe to head,
Close your eyes halfway,
Do that again.
2.I’ll catch you inside
The tip of my pen,
Say something clever,
Say it again.
3.I feel like singing
Against lawmen,
You do the rap part,
Play it again.
4.Don’t act innocent
With me, God damn,
Just come closer and
Do that again.Melt
1.You feel this thing I felt,
Radioactive scent,
C’mon because I’m spent,
Let’s play before we melt.
2.What in the world it meant,
Not money, but resent,
And to such great extent,
Let’s play before we melt.
3.Be living in a tent,
No worries about rent,
Won’t need another cent,
Come out before we melt.
4.Be living with intent,
No time for your consent
In cities of cement,
Let’s play before we melt.
Kicking water
1.Don’t sway at me
If you think I’m there,
You’re missing badly,
Only hitting air.
2.Don’t swing at me,
I’m like fire,
Pumping oxygen
Strengthens desire.
3.Tread carefully,
You tread on my ground,
Your best bet is
Not making a sound.
4.Don’t hit so hard,
Your fists may shatter,
Lay down a bit,
You’re kicking water.In another life
1.In another life I would have wanted death,
Now I’m indifferent about my own breath,
It doesn’t sound like much, I call it progress.
2.In another life I would have sucked a bone,
Rather than eat well while being on my own,
Now it’s not like that and I think I’ve grown.
3.Everyone around me tells me how I’ve changed,
Yes, I’m working out, but it’s mostly my brain,
It is just what happens when you break the chain.
4.In another life I wasn’t fond of day,
Everything was black, but now it’s turning grey,
It doesn’t sound like much, trust me, it’s ok.
1.It’s good to be bad,
Only within a limit,
As long as all the legal prescription drugs
Can heal it.
It’s good to talk back,
But not to your superior,
Else empty headed zombies will remind you
You’re inferior.
2.It’s good to kill some,
As long as they are evil,
But before you do make sure they’re sent up by
The devil.
Feels good to insult
One body type, the best yeah!
Or else they’ll beat you up, it will hurt more than
Influenza.
3.It’s good to speak truth,
Show you the middle finger
And watch your trembling fists and large dumb eyes oh,
So ginger.
I love to shed light
On all the lies, you get me,
Can’t always get away, after all, you’re not
Kaneki.
Point of view
1.Used to think life’s easy,
Like one plus one is two,
If something is false
It means it’s not true,
If something is wrong,
Then edit undo.
2.Used to think it’s simple,
Only black and white,
Bidimensional,
Just like day and night,
Available options:
Kiss ass, freeze or fight.
3.Why’d it have to happen?
To open my eyes,
What once was beauty
Now it’s only lies,
Where once stars shone brightly
Now nothing but scars.
4.It’s so complicates,
A betrayal, too!
When your eyes met mine,
I stayed, others flew,
And finally took in
Others’ point of view.
